Secrets
by hannahx3
Summary: Bella Swan is pregnant.Whose baby?What happens when Bella leaves Forks and the world she knew behind in order for a better future for her and her child?When she returns 5 years later, the life she knew is turned upside down?Can she put it together again?
1. The Night of My Life

S**ummary: Bella Swan was a normal, sixteen year old girl. Her life was filled with 2 testosterone filled men; Jacob Black and Edward Masen, her two best friends. What happens when Bella has a three-some with her best friends and becomes pregnant? Whose baby is it and how with she cope? All human. **

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight ):

Chapter One. Bella POV;

It started out like any other day. Edward and I were driving home from school and going down to La Push to see Jacob.

Jacob was my best friend since birth. We were so close it was discusting. Jake knew me better than I think I knew myself. We'd always be together, just us two. That was until Edward Masen moved here in the first grade. Edward and mine parents became friends, forcing us too, also. We never didn't get along but it was in about fifth grade when we really became best friends.

Jacob accepted Edward with open arms and soon enough, we were the fearsome threesome.

I never knew that name would soon become such a different meaning to us.

It was Saturday night. Edward, Jacob, and I were all sitting down playing a game.

"Ha! I beat you all. What now bitches?" I said. Jacob and Edward really were never that good at beating me in any game; ever.

"Yeah well, you can suck it." Jacob hissed back at me. He was a very sore loser. His bad mood ended as fast as it came.

Edward got up to get everyone drinks and came back. Jacob turned on the television and we started watching Rock of Love.

"Damn, all those girls are hot." Of course it would be Jacob who said that ridiculous comment. Edward would never degrade women like that. Hell, what am I kidding myself. Edward Masen was the sex god of Washington. But then again, so was Jacob. Each only 16 years old, eachv_ery _experienced, each delicious. I never really did anything physical with them. I tried dating them both, but neither worked. I didn't feel a connection with Edward and I just couldn't date Jacob because we've known each other so long. I truly did love them both, but was I i_n _love with either of them?

Edward spoke up, finally. "I'd totally tap any of those chicks. Can you say yum?" Jacob started laughing.

"Hell yes!" He boomed.

"I need to get laid, Lauren Mallory was terrible." I went into a flashback of Edward telling Jacob and me he was going to get the jackpot. He said, quote, "Lauren is fucking sexy. I don't care what anyone says, that's a nice piece of ass. I hit the jackpot. Pot of gold baby!" The next day, after he actually fucked the dumb bimbo, he regretted it all and said she was the worst fucking he's ever gotten. Jacob and I burst out laughing and I knew Jake was thinking the same thing I was.

"Dude, I'm dead serious. She kept moaning and groaning. Normally that's good, I like them rough, but Lauren sounded like a pig getting slaughtered before Christmas. He shivered dramatically and we kept laughing.

"What about you Jake? Was you're last one good?" I was a little sickened. They were talking about girls like they were ice-cream cones. 'Oh Edward my last one was amazing, yum it was chocolate with rainbow sprinkles!' I laughed quietly to myself at my thoughts.

"Oh. My. God. Absolutely. Leah Clearwater might be a bitch, but she is totally fuck-a-licious." Edward probably had his goals set to Leah now.

"Isn't Leah a little out of you range, Eddie?" He hated when I called him Eddie. He glared at me and then laughed.

"One: Don't call me Eddie. Two: No girl is out of my range. I'm Edward Masen." His cockiness usually didn't bother me, and I decided to let it slide.

"So Bells," Jake said. "How was your last?" I stopped and all my laughing faded like I changed the channel from a comedy to a tragedy. I didn't feel comfortable talking about this. Sure, they could talk about 'fucking' girls all the want, but I wasn't like them. I didn't feel that talking about my sex life with anyone was appropriate, even if it was just t_hem. _I didn't answer. I just glared.

"Oh come on, there really is no reason to bring this up. You don't care about that stuff." I prayed to god they would just drop it.

"Sure we do. Just tell us." I refused after they pleaded and pleaded.

"Please?" Jacob and Edward asked back and forth like whining children.

"No." It wasn't yelling, or whining, it was a straight out, d_emanding_ no.

Realization flew across Edwards face and he nodded to Jacob. I had no idea what they were talking about. To be quite honest, I didn't really want to know. Edward spit out what he realized and my heart skipped a few beats.

"Bella, are you…a virgin?" I didn't know what to say. Sure, I could say that I was, but did I want to? I could easily lie and say I fucked someone like Mike Newton in the back of Newton's Store late at night when I was closing my shift. I couldn't. I couldn't lie to them. Actually, I just couldn't lie in general. It wasn't even because I had some aversion to lying, it was just I could never get away with lying. I dropped my head and refused to look at either of them.

"Oh my god! You are! She is!" Edward of course.

"Shut up!" I mumbled. It sounded like I had a mouthful of food in my mouth. They kept teasing me and making jokes. I tried to keep the tears back. I could feel the tears building up and I couldn't control it. One single drop of water spilled out of the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to be a baby so I pretended to push a stray piece of hair away from my face. They didn't buy it.

"Are you…"

"…crying?" I hated when they finished each others sentences. Edward and Jacob really were like twins. I was just the odd triplet who didn't seem to belong with the rest of my 'siblings'.

"You know Jake, I think we could change that." My heart stopped and I looked up at Edward who was staring at me smiling. My eyes became wide and I stared at him in shock. He got up and came over to sit on the couch with me. He put an arm around me and tilted my head up so I was looking him in the eye again.

He shocked the hell outta me and kissed me full on the lips, licking my bottom lip, begging to enter. I allowed it.

"Looks like little Ed is getting all the action." He sounded decently depressed. I wondered why? It was just me. Nothing special.

"Come and get some then." I regretted it as soon as the words came out. Actually, no I didn't. I wanted this. But from which one? I didn't want to have my v-card forever. I wasn't a little girl anymore. I told my parents I was sleeping over Edwards with Jacob and once again, they thought nothing of it.

Jacob came over and began kissing my neck, my ears, everywhere. They eventually switched off and I moaned loudly in Jacob's mouth.

From there on, I didn't even know what happened. But I do know, it was amazing and incredible.

* * *

The next morning was akward. I woke up naked in between Jacob and Edward. They both looked like gods. There skin looked perfectly contrasted; peach and copper. I didn't want to face them so I decided to leave them notes. Went onto Edwards desk and got a piece of white paper. I started writing the first letter

_Dear Ed and Jake._

_Last night was wonderful. I have an amazing time. I _

_want to thank you for that. I'm really understanding_

_what you guys are always bragging about now. Sorry_

_I didn't wait for you guys to wake up, please feel free_

_to call or stop by or something. I love you both a lot._

_Xoxoxoxoxo,_

_Bella._

I put lipstick on and kissed the paper. I folded it up, put it in an envelope and put it where I was laying. I went to get dressed and I had no idea where my clothes were. I threw on a pair of Edward's boxers and took Jacobs big button down shirt he had been wearing. I went to see how dreadful I actually looked.

I wasn't completely hideous. My hair was a mess, that was a given. My lips were a little swollen, but other than that, I looked fine. I took one last look at the naked boys in the bed and went out the door to my truck.

I sat at home the same day waiting for a call from one of the two, Edward or Jacob. Finally, they showed up to my house instead. This was going to be a long night. Again.

* * *

Well, what do you think?? I'm going to have 1 or 2 filler chapters because Bella can't just magically become pregnant in one night.

Please review or I'll bite you (:

Seriously though. Review.

Also check out my other stories please and thanks.

This story will soon be on my other account, Bite Me Im Yummy

Much MUCH more stuff to come. Seriously.


	2. Torn Between Two

I don't own 2.

_**Okay well, I decided to change a few things in this story. First off, Edward is human. Jacob is human, for now. He will become a werewolf later. You will find out how that factors into the story later.**_

Bella's POV; I was sitting there eating left-over spagetti when there was a knock on the door. I had one guess of who that might be. I got up, and walked slowly to the door, trying to prolong the act. Sure enough, Edward and Jacob were standing at me door, laughing, waiting. How was I supposed to do this? How was I going to face them after what we just did? I couldn't be sure. I mumbled "Don't be a coward." under my breath and opened the door, awaiting my fate.

"Bella!" Jacob yelled and grabbed me up in a huge bear hug.

"Ugh, Jake! Can't… breathe!" He always seemed to forget how fragile I was compared to his giant, toned body. Edward was standing about a foot behind him, only slightly amused. He seemed tense, but was trying to hide it. If they didn't want to bring the subject up, I sure the hell wasn't going to. Edward spoke up and it was obvious what he wanted.

"So Bells, got any good food?" He walked right past Jacob who rammed him into the door, purposely.

"Damnit, sorry, you know me, ungraceful Jake." We all burst out laughing at his sarcasm. It was true. Jacob was probably the farthest thing from graceful there _ever_ was. Edward was on a mission and charged right past us, only pausing to smile slightly at me. I heard the fridge door open and then a few seconds slam shut. I knew there would be cabinet doors opening and closing over and over again until Edward found a food that satisfied him completely.

"I like your outfit." Jake said after we walked into my tiny living room. I didn't realize it but I was still in Edward's boxers and Jacob's shirt. I blushed a deep red, I could almost see my cheeks getting darker. I didn't need him to bring up last night, but in a way, I appreciated him doing so. I asked myself why, screamed actually. Why was I happy he said something? I think I was happy because it showed me that he was unashamed, since he didn't say it angrily, but jokingly. He was alleviating my worry.

Edward walked into the room with a bag of Snyder Salt & Vinegar potato chips; my favorite.

"These are a little stale, but that's okay. I'll eat them." I just laughed. Deep down, I wondered why Edward wasn't 500 pounds. He ate like a world class food eater. It still shocked me.

"So Bella, what movie are we watching?" I should have realized they wanted to watch a movie. Leave it to Jacob to remember.

"Whatever you guys want. I don't really care." Edward put down the half eaten bag of chips and walked over to the small selection of DVD'S. I didn't have any, since I was barely home. I was always at there houses and if I wasn't I was over here with them, doing something outside or in my room. Charlie had never been a fan of movies. He just watched whatever sports were on T.V at the moment. He didn't care if it was baseball, football, golf, or hockey. He would watch it no matter what.

"Your movies suck." Jacob laughed at my mock horror. I knew just as much as they did that my movies sucked. Edward walked over to my small T.V and put in a DVD. After a few minutes, the movie started playing. I didn't know if he wanted it to be a joke, or if he wanted to be sweet, but he picked The Lion King. He knew that movie always got to me. I snuggled up closer to Jacob and Edward joined my on the other side, so I was nestled between the two. I was glad that nothing had changed between the three of us. Or so I thought…

* * *

About halfway through the movie, I spoke up.

"I have to pee. I'll be right back." I got up and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I flushed and then washed my hands. I opened the bathroom door and began running back down the steps. I heard Edward and Jacob bickering about something. I planned on breaking up there argument, until I heard my name.

"And what makes you so sure Bella loves you?" Jacob yelled at Edward. "You know what, Edward, I'm really tired of you thinking you can always get whatever the hell you want. I know your family has more money than me. I have $50 dollars in my pocket, a little house on the res, and not much else. I have nothing to offer her. But I know one thing. I know that Bella loves me. Our entire life it has been just me and her until you had to come here and ruin everything. I love you like a brother Edward, I really do, but this has gone on for too long. We can't keep fighting like this. We've had a lot of good times and I don't regret you moving here for a second, but your really hurting Bella and mines relationship." There was a long pause and then someone let out a long, exasperated sigh.

"Jacob, I understand where you are coming from. But I love Bella, too. Just because I'm wealthy doesn't mean anything. Did you ever stop to think that maybe just maybe, Bella might love me, for me? Let's face it, I have more to offer her. I don't think Bella would want to grow old in a shack and working until she's on her death bed, just so she can support the two of you. If you even thought about having kids, that's another story. You would be on welfare and using food stamps just to survive. I'm better for her in every way possible. And we both know it."

Tears streamed down my face. How could they be degrading each other like this? I loved them both. I thought long and hard about that one statement. I loved them both. No, I didn't love them both. I was _in-_love with them both. They weren't my best friends anymore. I finally realized that I'd been lying to myself since I was about 13. After I hit puberty, Edward and Jacob weren't my friends anymore. They were my lovers. I'd never put that together.

I'd missed a piece of the puzzle. I was still missing pieces of the puzzle. Life was like a puzzle, exactly like a puzzle. As your life goes on, you collect more and more pieces. When your life is finally the best you can get it, the puzzle is complete. My puzzle finally seemed complete. I never factored in something like this happening. I was losing more and more pieces as I listened to them argue over me. My puzzle was just as incomplete as it had been, before.

"You aren't playing fair anymore. This isn't about the money. This isn't about my house or my car or anything material. This is about who Bella loves more. That statement you just said, shows me that I love Bella more than you do."

"How so?" Edward spit back at him.

"Are you even listening to yourself speak? Or are you so far in your own egotistical world, you don't even care. Oh yeah, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm rich, so you want me. You sound like a pimp right now, dude. You seriously don't understand how ignorant you are sounding. You are making Bella sound like Malibu Barbie who only wants Ken because he can give her a shiny, new, red corvette."

Jacob was exactly right. Edward wasn't looking very far into me. He was hurting me. Edward was hurting me by just saying the things he was. I didn't love Edward because he was rich or handsome, I loved him because he was kind and thoughtful. I loved him because he was sweet and funny. I loved him because no matter what I did, he would always forgive me. I loved him because I could commit murder and he would visit me in jail and try to look at the bright side of things. "It's okay, Bella, I forgive you. You probably had a good reason." I knew he would help me get through anything and everything.

Jacob continued with his speech. " Bella isn't a gold-digger who just wants someone for what they can give her. Bella wants to love and be loved in return. That's something I can give her unconditionally." And that's why I loved Jacob Black.

I loved Jacob for very different reasons than I loved Edward. I loved Jacob because he was like no one I've ever met. I loved him, because he would stand up for me when I couldn't. I loved him because he was always there, ready to protect me. He was there to protect me from anything. It could be a person, a paper cut, or a bear. Jacob would be there, throwing himself in front of a bullet, just so I could live. I loved him because he made fun of my flaws, and I knew he never meant a word of it. I loved him because he tried to give me the world, though he had nothing to give. We could be stranded on the beach with nothing but a peanut butter sandwich and a bottle of water and he would give it _all_ to me. He would give it to me and be grateful I had a meal and my stomach, grateful he was spending his last dying moments with me.

I couldn't never choose between them. I loved them both so much. I wished I could cut myself in two, so I could be with them both. They deserved so much more than I could offer. Edward could have had any supermodel in the world, any girl he wanted. Jacob could have had the gorgeous girl next door, who would love him and hold him and give him everything he ever wanted. That's what they both deserved. A girl who was better than me for them.

I ran into the bathroom and cleaned myself up before heading back downstairs. I was sure to make a lot of noise so they knew I was coming. I plopped down on the couch and put myself between them. They must have been good actors since they were both smiling and laughing. I knew otherwise._ I had to make a choice. If only I knew the choice would come sooner than I realized. Did I expect that choice? No I didn't. It wasn't a choice. __**It was fate.**_

* * *

**Well? What did you think? I liked that Chapter. The next chapter is when you start realizing the sickness, the mood swings and all that comes with the first few weeks of pregnancy (: The chapters are going to be longer once they aren't fillers anymore.**

**TWO reviews for the first chapter? That seriously is terrible. I didn't think it was bad? Review, don't just read it. I can see if you read this stuff people. I'm not dumb. Review or I'll just take the story down and **_**no one **_**will read it.**

**Read and Review or I **_**will**_** bite you.**

**Xoxo- Hannah (:**


	3. Farewell to Forks

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Chapter 3. _Four and ½ weeks later_;

**.....**

**Also, Some of you might be wondering why my story is only on the like, left side. I purposly do that because  
I think it looks more like a story, or a book. When it's all stretched all the way across the page I think it looks  
bad. It might go back to normal, though. So I don't know why I even bother typing these things. lmaoo(: And  
does anyone want me to make a playlist for the following chapters? I can tell you know, I know exactly how  
Secrets is going to end and there WILL be a sequal, if not 2.**

Okay sorry for my blabering! Enjoy this story.

* * *

"You know, you do have a mind of my own. Jacob isn't the only option here." For the past few weeks, Edward  
and Jacob have been trying to convince me that I should be with them and not the other. I didn't know what to do.  
There was no way I could ever pick. If I picked between them, it would be like losing a piece of my heart; a piece of  
my soul.

"Edward please, not right now. I don't feel good." It was the truth. For the past few days I had been feeling  
extremely sick. It must have been food poisoning from the restaurant I went to last week with Edward. Edward kept  
buying my fancy things and taking me fancy places. I knew it made Jacob upset. He couldn't afford those things but  
he did extremely special things for me. For example, Jacob handcrafted a bracelet for me. It was extremely intricate  
and I wore it everyday. I loved it with my life.

"I'm sorry, love. Please forgive me." I didn't like when he called me love. I loved him, but I didn't feel completely  
comfortable with the whole world. How could I ever choose between these two wonderful men? I mean, I'm not even  
that pretty. They could have any girl they ever wanted, but they chose me. Sometimes I just wished they could have  
moved on. I needed to find a way to rip myself from them completely.

"Um, excuse me." Before I knew it, I was in the bathroom hung over the toilet and throwing up everything in my  
stomach, which trust me, wasn't much. There was a knock on the door and Edward barged in before I could warn him  
not too.

"Bella! What's wrong. Are you sick?" Did it take you long to realize that one, genius?

"Oh no, I'm not sick. I'm just throwing up everything I've eaten in my life for the hell of it!" I couldn't even finish my  
sarcasm before I barfed again, followed by a dry heave. Edward came behind me and grabbed my hair, pulling it out of  
my face. I didn't have any idea what was causing this. I hadn't eaten anything that would cause me to get sick. The  
restaurant we went to was 5 stars and I highly doubt I would get sick from that. Who knows.

"Do you need me to get you anything? I can get you some medicine?" Edward asked. He was trying to be nice, but  
it truly pissed me off.

"Jesus Christ stop offering me everything! I'm a big girl I can get it my fucking self!" Edward dropped my hair and  
stepped back, mouth open, eyes wide. I never used that type of language and he and Jacob knew that. Occasionally I  
would use a cuss word, but nothing of that sort. I immediately felt horrible at the words and tried to apologize.

"Edward, I- I'm sorry. I don't know I've just been really moody and stuff lately. I just can't handle this." And then  
it hit me. The realization of what was really going on. My late period, my mood swings, my morning sickness. It all made  
sense now. I flushed the toilet and ran to my room. I stripped off my pajama's, not even bothering to care that Edward  
was standing in my doorway. Good thing I was wearing my Victoria's Secret underwear and matching bra, or that would  
have been totally embarrassing. I threw on a pair of jeans, a tank top, and a plaid button down shirt and ran downstairs.  
I grabbed the keys off the counter and booked it to my truck. I felt a little bad that Edward was still sitting in my house,  
probably puzzled as to what was even going on. Oh well, he didn't need to.

I drove all the way to Port Angeles because in a town like Forks, I think someone would notice "The Chief's Daughter",  
buying a pregnancy test. I went into the drug store and grabbed 3 tests off the shelf, just to be safe. I paid the money for  
them and the store's clerk looked at me like I was insane. I guess being 17 years old and buying pregnancy tests probably  
didn't look the best on my part.

I drove home and tested them. I was pregnant and there was no doubt about it. That could mean 1 of 2 things. One,  
I was pregnant with Edward Cullen's baby, or 2, I was pregnant with Jacob Black's baby. I ran to my room and cried. I cried  
and cried and cried because I wanted to cry. I didn't want to get an abortion. I couldn't do that to the poor little thing inside  
of me. Eventually I fell asleep and I soon found myself in Dreamland.

Before I knew it, there was 2 beautiful baby's sitting in my arms. One with gorgeous black eyes and dark brown hair.  
Another with copper hair and piercing green eyes; both beautiful, either one a possibility. Was I having a boy or a girl? Was  
it going to be mine, or was I giving it up? I didn't know. I had a lot to think of and I didn't know what to do.

I woke up to the sound of my cell phone ringing and light streaming through my window. I didn't hear Charlie snoring.  
He must have left for work. I picked up my phone and saw the name "Edward" flash across the screen, over and over again.  
I ignored the call's over and over again. I was in no position to accept phone calls from a man who could have gotten me  
pregnant. I looked down and lifted my shirt up. My flat stomach didn't look any bigger, really. I guess this was just the  
beginning. How would I tell Charlie? How would I tell Jacob and Edward. That would be one awkward evening.

"_Okay, I don't know how to say this, but… I'm pregnant! Thing is, I don't know if it's your baby or his baby. But everything's  
cool! I'll just have the baby and we can all be one, big, happy family!"_

No. No. No. Charlie wasn't going to take this lightly either. No one would ever want a baby around. This house was  
crammed with 2 people living in it. I don't think he could handle a baby. I looked around at my small room. My desk, my bed,  
my closet, my dresser, and… a crib? I was seventeen for Christ's sake! I had just graduated this year! A month or so ago!  
Summer of my life.

Suddenly my mind went into overdrive. I had to fix this and I had to fix this fast. I had to leave. I had to pack all my  
things and get the hell out of Forks. I drove to the bank and withdrew every cent I had in my bank account, and trust me,  
it wasn't much. It would get me going for a little, but not long. I drove back to the house and ran upstairs. I went under my  
bed and grabbed my small duffle bag. I packed all my clothes I had ever gotten in that little duffle bag. I got my school  
backpack and went into the bathroom. I put my toothbrush, my makeup bag, some shampoo and conditioner, and toothpaste.  
That was it. I was Bella Swan. I had $6,000 dollars to my name. I had some clothes that would last me about a month without  
a washer or drier. And I had some toiletries that wouldn't even last as long as the clothes.

Tears streamed down my face as reality hit. I was leaving the town and never coming back. I was leaving my dad and  
my friends. I was leaving Edward and Jacob and Billy and Esme and Carlisle and _Charlie. _I was leaving and I was never going  
to see all the people who mattered most in my life, the people who have helped me through everything in my life. My friends,  
my family, my friends families, who meant just as much to me as my own family. I had to say goodbye. I was ready. I had to do  
it. If this baby was Jacob's, his family would be more than supportive. Jacob would give this baby the world. But we had  
_nothing_ to give it. We had no money between our families and it would never be able to work.

If this baby was Edward's, my baby would have the world. It would have money, a good house, clothes, shelter, food,  
everything it would have ever needed and ever wanted. But would Edward be supportive? Would he love me enough to keep  
this child? I couldn't risk either scenarios.

I looked on my desk and found 3 blank pieces of stationary. The first one I wrote was to my dad. The person who was  
always there for me, even after my mom died. I tried to compose myself so my tears didn't stain the paper. I grabbed a pen  
and began to write.

_Dear Dad,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave this way. I never planned_

_on this to happen, and for that, I apologize. I want_

_you to know you mean so much to me and that_

_this is the best option for me. I hope one day that_

_I can explain why I left like this, but for now, Please_

_don't be upset._

_I love you so much, Dad_

_Bella_

I put it in the envelope and wrote Dad on it. I sealed it and left it on his bed. I planned to say goodbye to Edward and  
Jacob in person. One day I would tell them both. I hoped when I told them they would be married and have little children of  
their own. I would live my life; I hoped they'd live theirs.

I went downstairs with my bags and that was it. I took one last look at the house and remembered one thing I couldn't  
forget. I went to the mantel on the fireplace and grabbed the photo from last Christmas. It was me and dad and it was the  
happiest year of my life. I put it in my bag and I ran to my truck, facing whatever was next, next.

I drove all the way to La Push as fast as I could. I pulled in the drive way and ran to the back of the house to the garage.  
Jacob was sitting there working on his Rabbit as he smiled and waved. His smile faded as he saw the tears streaming down  
my face. Jacob's first instinct was always to protect me. He grabbed me in his arms and held me. Over and over again he asked  
"What's wrong? What happened?" But I couldn't tell him.

"Jake, I'm leaving." I murmured into his strong shoulders. He pulled me away and lifted my face up to look to look at him.

He finally pulled out a response. "W-What do you mean your _leaving_?" He emphasized the word "leaving" and squinted  
his eyes in confusion. I didn't put out a straight answer. Instead I told him something I always wanted to tell him.

"Jacob, I love you. I love you so much but that's why I'm leaving. I can't hurt you and Edward like this. If you knew you'd  
understand. I'm sorry." Before he had a chance to say something I crushed my lips to his. He instantly relaxed. His mouth  
parted slightly and then I pulled away. The electric shock was obvious and that made it all the worse. But I knew I had to do it.  
The night we were all together it was different. We had kiss but this moment seemed more passionate. It was a farewell and I  
put all the love I had into that kiss. I kissed him one passionate peck, and grabbed him into a tight hug. In the hug he held me  
fiercely. I whispered into his ear, "I'm sorry." I pulled away and ran to my truck.

I expected him to follow, but he just stood there, dazed and confused. It wasn't until I was backing out of the driveway  
that I saw his copper skin and black hair standing there, watching me. I looked one last glance at him and pressed the gas. He  
looked heartbroken. Jacob Black never did vent his feelings to anyone. He had a hard outter shell that was extremely hard to  
break. But if you knew how, you could break it.

I cried more and more and I swerved on the road a lot. It was a good thing no one was around. I went straight to  
Edward's house and didn't even bother to knock. They were my family. I walked to the living room and found Carlisle, Esme, and  
Edward's 2 sisters, Alice and Rosalie sitting on the sofa's. They all looked at me. Rosalie sort of glared. She never liked me.  
Alice didn't glare, but she seemed more used to what was going on. She knew the bond I had between her brother, so she  
supported us together, even though we never were together in the way he wanted. Carlisle and Esme looked at me in a different  
way. They looked at me like they saw their daughter just had her heart broken. I was always a part of the family and they always  
thought of my as their fourth child, Jacob as their fifth.

"Bella, Sweetie are you alright?" Esme finally asked. She was always so motherly. It was heartbreaking to know I was  
never going to see this family that had always been there for me again.

"Um, No." The tears came harder as I admitted what I already knew.

"Is Edward home?" I was itching to find him so I could see the face that meant to much to me. Carlisle nodded. "Edward is in  
his room. Go right ahead up." He said with a smile. I attempted to smile but it sort of came looking like a grimace. I ran up 2 flights  
of stairs and ran down the long hallway to Edward's room. I didn't even bother knocking as I slammed the door open. He was  
standing there in his boxers as he yelled, "Can you _knock_? Oh Bella. Oh my god!" He knew something was up and he didn't bother  
asking me what happened. He just grabbed me in his arms, half-naked, and held me. He didn't ask once what I didn't want to hear.  
I don't know how long went by that I just sat there in cried in his arms. Finally I pulled away and told him I was leaving.

"You can't leave! You just can't leave and never come back! Please we can find the solution to whatever's wrong. Just please!  
Don't do this!" He was frantic.

"I have to. I just can't stay here. I'm so sorry." Tears came down more slowly now, only a few now. Edward lowered his  
head from my eyes to the floor and very quietly whispered "But I love you." He slowly fell down onto his bed and sat there and put  
his face in his hands. The moment I saw him so vulnerable it his me. I loved Edward. I loved Jacob, too. But I needed Edward to  
survive. Edward was the love of my life, and I had to leave him behind now. I went over and gave him a hug and made him  
look me in the eyes. I saw one tear fall down his cheek from the corner of his eye. I wiped it away and put his face between  
my hands.

"I love you too, Edward. I love you so much. But that is why I have to leave. You are the love of my life and I need you,  
but I have to go. I don't want to hurt you. I just can't be here anymore. I'm sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me. One  
day you'll understand." I kissed him, but not in the way I kissed Jacob. I realized Edward's kiss wasn't a shock. It ran through  
my body and screamed more. It was like a drug. I wanted more. I craved more. I needed him. We sat there and just kissed for  
a long, long, long time. But nothing more. This was it, so I had to make the best of it.

My tears eventually stopped by the passion that was radiating off of us. I put my arms around his neck and wound my hands  
tight in his gorgeous, bronze hair. He parted his lips and my tongue explored his mouth. We pulled away gasping for air. I looked  
at him one last time and his eyes longed for more. His eyes showed and longing, and passion, and lust, but more than that.  
They showed fear, and confusion, and worry, and sadness. They showed he needed me the same way I needed him. The tears  
fell like a waterfall and he wiped them away with his strong hands.

"Please." He whispered.

"I'm sorry. I love you." I got up when something caught my eye. I looked over at his bookshelf and there were new  
pictures of us. They must have been recently put up because I'd never seen them before. There had to be 50 pictures in  
front of his books. Some were from our childhood. There was a picture of us on a see-saw and another of us playing in a  
sandbox. He'd moved here when he was young, about 10, but we were always little kids inside, to tell you the truth. The  
pictures grew in age and it went from the first day of middle school, to the first day of high school. Then the prom, and random  
pictures just taken together. A lot of them were just him and I, but many were of the "Fearsome Threesome." I smiled as I  
looked at each picture, the memories coming back to me.

"Can I have some of these?" I turned around to find him still sitting on the bed, looking at the floor. He looked up with  
agony in his eyes and nodded. "Take whatever you'd like, love." I took a few pictures of us when we were younger and stupid.  
I took a picture of me, Edward, and his family. I took a few from our senior prom, and another from various times in our life. My  
favorite was a picture of Edward, Jacob, and I. It was the first day of the 4rd grade. We were about 9 or 10. It was the first year  
we had become friends. Jacob came over to see Edward and I because he went to school on the reservation. We were all young  
and crazy. My hair was in 2 low braids. I was wearing a hot pink striped shirt, with blue denim overalls and converse. Edward had  
khaki pants on with a blue t-shirt. He managed to look handsome even at 10 years old. Jacob was wearing jeans and a wife-beater.  
He was 9 and even then he thought he was the shit. We were all smiling and laughing next to each other in my yard. I had braces  
and I was insanely dorky looking. I laughed internally thinking about all the memories.

I had all the pictures in my hand and walked over to Edward. He was staring at my, agony written all over his face. I stroked  
his cheek and walked to the doorway. I looked back and he glanced up at me.

"I love you." He said. I smiled at him and repeated those same words. "I love you too, so much." We got lost in each others  
eyes before I ran down the stairs, past his family, with tears streaming down my face. I started my truck and saw a certain bronze  
haired boy running to me. Before I was even out of the driveway Edward was screaming.

"Bella, Please! I'm begging don't go!" He kept yelling over and over again until he was right next to the truck, even though it was  
moving out of the driveway.

"I-I'm s-sorry. P-l-l-lease!" He was choking on his tears and he was far past hysteria. I had never in my life seen him like this.  
I'd never seen him cry and be the least bit vulnerable. But today, that moment, he let everything go. He didn't care about being  
a macho-man today. I was screaming at myself to go back, to comfort him. But I didn't. I couldn't. Because if I did, I would never  
be able to tell myself to leave. I turned around in the circular driveway and began driving away in my little red truck. I looked in  
the mirrors and saw a red, blotchy faced Edward running after my truck. I only went faster and floored it as my vision got blurred  
from the scene. I didn't know someone could be so sad. I didn't know someone could cry so much.

Soon, he stopped. He realized it was useless and I wasn't turning around. I watched Edward get smaller and smaller in my  
vision until the screaming boy I loved was gone from my life completely.

**I was Bella Swan. I was alone. I was on my own.**

* * *

Well guys? What do you think? I think this is a horrible way to say goodbye, but she had to have a "clean break", much like  
Edward in New Moon. This is by FAR the longestttt chapter yet. I think it's about 5,000 words. Enjoy and REVIEW! For real.  
I know when you guys read my stories. If you favor them, and go on story alert. Take the gosh darn time to review! It's what  
keeps me going. And also, I don't wanna sound rude... BUTTTTT. If I see more than 50 people read this chapter, and I have  
LESS that 50 reviews, I will not continue this story. I swear on the bible. This isn't fair people read this and don't review.

IT SUCKSSS.

Review or i WILL bite you (:


End file.
